I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
