her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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