Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
