this beer tastes like vomit already
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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