the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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