matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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