yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
