no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
