Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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