Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just google imaged poop.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
