Cold hands, warm shart.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
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