Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
