I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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