That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
