Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
