Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
