I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
