So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
