I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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