I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
