actually, I'm a sock model
I didn't shave. On purpose
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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