please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
