So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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