belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
