No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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