I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
