and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
