Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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