I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
false alarm, still single
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
