Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You dont lie about slip and slides
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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