drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
