I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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