Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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