I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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