i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
