it wasn't lemon gatorade
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
