so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Randomize
