If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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