I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dear god my vagina.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
