I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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