you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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