Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize