Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
