Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
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