just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
