Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize