I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
