I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
