so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
