i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
