My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
