Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
