it was like his penis was on wheels.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
