did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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