At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
