Moan for me like Helen Keller
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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