We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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