I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
