He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize