I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
