what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
worst night to have a conscience
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
