Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
