Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
