Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize