My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
